Consistency

Alright, so I've been told by someone recently that I'm a very philosophical person. Actually, I believe it was the first word that came to this person's mind after our first meeting. No I've disagreed with that, mainly because I would have never, ever described myself as philosophical. However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if this person is right.

On the flip side, the same person asks if another character trait of mine - kindness - is a consistent trait. Then I began to wonder, am I always nice, sweet, kind, gentle with those I relate? Am I stuck in a rut of consistent, and God-forbid, boring behavior? I'm not worried that this person thinks I'm boring, or that any of my friends think I'm boring. But, as a professional, as a writer, as a creator I fear that I could easily find myself getting into a rut which could hamper my professional development.

I was reading some of Walt Whitman's works today and I came across this quote:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
I am large, I contain multitudes.

With that in mind, I'm absolutely positive Whitman would agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson, a contemporary and an admirer, who called "a foolish consistency the hobgoblin of little minds...", as well as with Oscar Wilde: "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

Here is the problem, I find myself at times basically striving to try an remain consistent, to remain stable (read "boring"), at being trustworthy ("dull") , reliable ("predictable"), and at being loyal ("uncreative"). Now while stable, trustworthy, reliable, and loyal are wonderful characteristics for any person of course, but only when they are not masquerading simply as a cover for consistency.

The creative-type, aren't we suppose to be by definition "the definition" of inconsistency?

I sit here at my dining room table, as I do almost everyday, attempting to write something new, something profound, something to pay the bills. But, it has become a routine, it has become stable and reliable. I can trust that I will be here, I've become loyal to my table, my laptop, my tea pot. I think it is time to shake up my routine.

I am not going to change my character, because I am Donegal John. Being nice, sweet, kind, gentle to my friends and those who I hold dear is part of who I am. It is in my character. However, I think it is time to take the creativity away from my writing and bring it into the rest of my life more.

So, today I am giving myself (and all of you readers; all 2, maybe 3 readers) permission to express some kind of wild inconsistency. Today the challenge for our lives is to be creatively inconsistent, and enjoy it. I think afterwards we will all agree with Whitman, we are large and contain multitudes.

I Think Upon Your Beauty and Reflect

I think upon your beauty and reflect,
Through grace with goodness, near perfect.
A single look, men's hearts have fluttered,
Beauty surpassing any depiction uttered.

Splendor and gracious of face and soul,
Not just in part, but of the whole.
The beauty gentler, yet for some reason,
I hope and pray that this be the season.

I bring you this, my gift of rhyme,
Of care, of passion, a gift of time,
And word and script to fill your mind.
You are someone special, someone kind.

For you to touch a life is a blessing,
Including mine, I am professing.
Here and now, my feelings on display,
In wishing you a blessed birthday.

Self Made

I walk among dark and greening trees
I hear the winds and feel the breeze
My heart yearns for what I long
Yet travel on through right and wrong

Where I go and what I see
Defines who I am and what I be
I fear not now or what’s to come
What I am is where I’m from

I see not why I e’re turn back
But continue on down this track
Overtaken, you join me here
As long as you’ll hold me dear

Find me not changed from whom you knew
Only surer of what in myself is true

An Apology

I am sorry all for being away so long. It has been some time since I have written here and that will not happen again. As John Cleese once said,

All right, all right, I apologize. I'm really, really sorry, I apologize unreservedly.

So, let's go back shall we and start over. I've be very busy with my book. "Adam's Walk" (my working title) is now closing in on the 400 page mark. I have envisioned the ending, now it is just a matter of getting there. Also I have been inspired of late thanks to life lived, life that I'm living, and life to live yet. I have three new poems I want to share today. Enjoy!

Thank You for 28 Years of Being Dad

John J. Haggerty, age 65, of Big Stone City, SD died November 20th at the VA Hospital in Sioux Falls. A Mass of Christian Burial will be Friday, November 24th at 11:00 a.m. in the St. Charles Catholic Church in Big Stone City. Father Matthew Kowalski will officiate and burial will be in the family private cemetery in Lac Qui Parle County, MN. Visitation will be Thursday at St. Charles Catholic Church beginning at 5 p.m. followed by a scripture and rosary service at 7:30 p.m. Visitation will continue at the church Friday morning, one hour prior to the mass. Casket bearers will be: John, DJ, Keith, Terrin, Tadd, and Tory Haggerty. Music will be presented by Sarah Green, vocalist and Paula and Lonie Rausch

Military honors will be presented by the American Legion, Gertje-Van Lith Post #229, Big Stone City, SD.

John Joseph Haggerty was born September 23, 1941, on the family farm in Inver, County Donegal, Republic of Ireland. He was the eldest son of John “Jack” and Josie (Vrchota) Haggerty, in a family that ended up totaling nine children. He was baptized October 10, 1941.

As a young boy, John went to school in Inver, and Donegal Town. After briefly attending college at the University of Minnesota – Morris, he entered into service with the U.S. Army on January 21, 1964 and was discharged as Specialist E-4 on January 19, 1966 having served in combat with the First Infantry Division during the Vietnam War.

He was united in marriage with Elaine Louise Graham on July 8, 1967 at St. Anthony Catholic Church in Browns Valley, MN. Their union gave birth to eight wonderful children.

As a professional, John worked as a mechanic, owning his own service station for a time, as a laborer at the Big Stone City cheese factory, and as a correction officer in Appleton, MN where he retired from, in August of 2003. He was actively involved with the American Legion and each community’s Catholic Church wherever the family lived.

John enjoyed spending quality time with his family. He had a deep passion for deer and pheasant hunting. He also enjoyed fishing, football, baseball, tinkering, playing cards with his family, and his daily bowl of ice cream with a coke.

John went home to be with his Lord and Savior, Monday, November 20, 2006 in Sioux Falls, SD. After a three-and-a-half year battle, he passed away at the age of 65 in the company of his loving family.

John was preceded in death by father John and brother Terry.

John Haggerty is survived by his wife, Elaine of Big Stone City, SD; his mother, Josie Haggerty of Browns Valley, MN; three sons: John Haggerty of Robbinsdale, MN; D.J. and wife Kristin Hagggerty of Milbank, SD; and Keith Haggerty of Brookings, SD; five daughters: Jackie and husband Derek Cassoutt of South Lyon, MI; Gennie and husband Kevin Carruthers of Rosemount, MN; Julie Haggerty of Romeoville, IL; Shelley Haggerty of Big Stone City, SD and Emily Haggerty of Big Stone City, SD; 5 grandchildren; three brothers: Ike and wife Hilda Haggerty of Sisseton, SD; Keith and wife Cindy Haggerty of Browns Valley, MN; and Greg and wife Nancy Haggerty of Dell Rapids, SD; four sisters: Vivian and husband Leland Holman of Sisseton, SD; Dorothy and husband Bob Spethman of Sioux Falls, SD; Cheryl Bahr of Sioux Falls, SD and Judy and husband Ron Gettman of Browns Valley, MN, numerous nieces, nephews, extended family and friends.

Mundwiler Funeral Home of Milbank is in charge of the arrangements for John J. Haggerty. To send an electronic condolence, please visit www.mundwilerfuneralhome.net.

Ugh

I have no better way to put it then this:

At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind has come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone

I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
because I still miss someone

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there

I wonder if she's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone

Thank you Mr. Cash.

Do you feel like a grape?

Have you ever been to a winery?

Can you imagine what it would be like to be one of those grapes? Really...play along with me here for a moment.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be plucked, pushed, crushed, pressed, skinned, and fermented? OUCH! The pain! What's the point of it all?

A lot of people feel that way about the pain they experience in their relationships. "Why am I doing this? Where is this relationship going?"

But just as a grape goes through a difficult process before it becomes a fine wine, sometimes our relationships have to go through a painful process before they, too, mature.

The best relationships are not people who grew up well-adjusted, have healthy adult lives, and normal parents. People like that usually have okay at best relationships.

The best relationships and marriages are with couples who were crushed, who went through a painful process, and who built their relationship from the ruins of broken hearts.

There's an ancient song by King David, "Those who sow in tears will reap harvest in glad song."

And so it is that pain is often the preview to pleasure. Any woman who has experienced child birth can testify to this truth.

I think that very often the turning point in a healthy relationship is when a couple hits rock bottom. It's not until they've been through the worst that things start to get better.

But the turnaround in any relationship is not, and I repeat NOT, automatic. Just because you hit bottom, does not mean you'll bounce back. If you don't make it happen, you'll just crash. In order to turn a relationship around, you have to take responsibility.

What does it really mean to be responsible? A person who is responsible has the ability to respond. In other words, if you take response-ability for your relationship, then your relationship is not determined solely by what happens; it's also determined by how you respond to what happens.

A responsible person is not a victim to their circumstances. They are the master of their fate. How you respond to your circumstances today determine your circumstances tomorrow. Your actions create your circumstances. You can turn sour grapes into a fine wine.

Sorry I haven't posted much lately, I've been trying to stop the wine press and not get turned into mush. But that's happened - and I fermented for a while too. Well now I think the fermentation is done and I'm back.

What Love Means to Me

Love is more then actions and romance, more than holding hands and moonlit walks, more than moments of intimate sharing. Love is understating through difficult times and disagreement. It's laughing together when things are good or laughing together to keep from crying when things go wrong. It is patience and compassion, compromise and forgiving...