When it rains, it pores

During July of 2003 my father was diagnosed with colon cancer. In late July of that year he had major surgery to remove the tumor. The operation resulted in removal of 90 percent of his colon, part of his pancreas, and a sliver of his stomach. At the time of the surgery doctors gave him six to nine months to live, if he made it through the next 36-48 hours.

That first night he developed a high fever, but was able to fight through it, according to his doctors on the strength of his heart and lungs. Eight months later, after chemotherapy, Dad was declared cancer free. However, two weeks after that declaration, his strong heart almost gave out on him.

In March of 2004 my father suffered a major hear attack, that he should not have survived. His heart was restarted twice by medical staff. A quadruple bypass later, dad was once again on the road to recovery.

Now, some eighteen months later, a spot was found on his liver. A biopsy found the growth to be malignant, but they were unable to determine if it was residual colon cancer, or a new growth of liver cancer.

Surgery to remove the growth started this morning at 8 AM and should last about six hours. The surgeon plans for about 60 percent of the liver to be removed, along with the gall bladder.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days I've ever had. My daughter and I spend about 4 hours with my parents and two of my sisters at their hotel in the SE suburbs. As my little one played with Grandma and her auties in the pool, I was able to have about a 40 minute talk with my dad. Just a chance for us two to sit with each other.

The hardest part was at the end. Having to have the "just in case" part of the conversation. I've never had an issue with telling my mom I love her, but there is something different with telling my father the same thing. It is the honest truth, but to actually put it into words is tough. All I could really say was, "Dad if anything happens, I want you to know I love you and thank you for everything you did and taught me."

What more could I say? I know things are always left unsaid and there are things that cannot be put into words.